I have a problem with hoarding.

Actually, not a problem. I am really good at it.

Estate sales, thrift stores, online auctions, dollar stores—absolutely rife with stuff that I do not need and yet somehow manage to purchase. And fecking Amazon.

Crafts are usually the basis for my “needing” stuff. I watch a video on the YouTubes and think, I must make that! (Immediately dropping my current project on top of the pile of unfinished crafts that came before.)

Part One: Watch video. And then another. And… three hours later, after making precise mental lists of supplies for 37 projects, I head out. Necessary supplies that I should absolutely be able to buy at Dollar Tree because the internet people said so.

Keep in mind: I have so many craft supplies in disarray that I have no idea what I actually possess. But I am certain that I do not have whatever it is I need. At the very least, it is in a bag, in a box, in a room, behind the thing, with the other stuff.

Part Two: Arrive at store with a very fluid memory of what I need for the most important crafts I settled on.

And we are wandering.

Seasonal. Always a good place to start. I absolutely need carrot shapes and bunny shapes. Oooh, ribbon. I don’t need ribbon now, but I will need ribbon sometime, and this ribbon won’t be available then, so I better get it now. It’s important to be prepared.

Next up: crafts. Okay, I need little crates. But these aren’t the right ones. Will they work? Debatable, but it is better than nothing. How many did I need? Three or four? Better get five just to be sure.

Paint sponges—definitely need those. And brushes. Dowels! Wood rounds—I was looking for these last time. But for what? Can’t remember, but I know I needed them. Better buy extra.

How cute are these picture frames? And they’re wood? Hells yeah.

Wood beads, check. Twine, check check. Wreath form, throw it in the cart. Floral foam? Couldn’t hurt. Ooooh, new vases. And candle holders.

$87.93 later, I have stuff. For projects. The memory of the exact project I had to do has faded somewhat.

Bags go in the open box from Amazon that contains craft supplies.

Part Three: I was going to buy glass beads for the little forever beaded plants. Crap. It’s snowing. I’m not going back out. Let me see what Amazon has.

$113.21 later, I have glass beads in every shade of green arriving tomorrow.

Part Four: I didn’t save the video. How did I not save it? I’m sure I can find it again if I just watch a few more.

Part Five: Life happens. Someone gets a flat tire, or has a physical therapy appointment, or depression smacks my ass and calls me Judy.

Part Six: Amazon arrives. The box of beads gets set aside because I’m just not feeling it today. I will definitely remember that this is the box with green beads.

Ten days later:

I watch a video about spring crafts. I need to go get stuff. For a project. That I have to make.