So I’ve come to that fork in the road.  Ask my dad for help (which I’ve never, ever done) or stand by the interstate with a sign. Lol  I actually settled on a happy medium; I created a gofundme campaign. It’s like the sign without as much of the direct, public shame and less likelihood of getting any actual money. I’m a virtual street begger. And not even a good one.  I feel so good about myself right now, you don’t even know!

Happily I’ve returned to work part-time this week. I worked 5 whole hours yesterday (actually 5.25 hours. BOOM!) Next week will be another partial week and then after that I hope I can return to work full-time.

It’s good to be back at work even though I know everyone is trying to figure out what’s been wrong with me. I chose not to explain my absence other than saying medical leave.

“Did she get plastic surgery?”
Nooo, definitely not. Did you see the forehead crease? Botox could really help her though.

“Maybe she had another type of surgery?
I don’t see any new scars, her boobies still sag, and she isn’t limping.

“She’s coughing. Maybe she has a cold and stayed home for a month with the sniffles. What a puss!”
I bet that’s it!  She missed 9 weeks of work for the sniffles.

I could just explain but it comes back to the social stigma of depression. I don’t want pity stares and side glances to see if I’ve lost my mind completely yet.  I don’t want people afraid to talk to me lest I be contagious, or worse…cry in public.

I know I’m going to end up asking my dad for a loan. Puke. The thought of that actually makes me nauseous.  But the odds of getting any money online are pretty slim because I am too afraid to post it on my  Facebook or Twitter. You know, where people might see it.  I’m working with a lot of pride here.

Anyway, here is my campaign. Worth a chuckle if nothing else.  https://www.gofundme.com/sunshinysarcasm

Trying to hang on and stay positive. I won’t be embarrassed if stangers see it. Just the thought of anyone I know realizing I am broke and depressed is…so embarrassing.